


All The Stars

by bobataetea (sweetjims)



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:35:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19791007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetjims/pseuds/bobataetea
Summary: the warm sand that his feet is soaked in, the dim moonlight he is under, and the company of the man beside him was a bad combination.





	All The Stars

It was mid-July. The peak of holiday season had just ended. There aren’t as much people in the city anymore, back to the quiet daze of the usual daily life.

Yet today was anything but usual. Inseong couldn’t put a name on what this day feels like, its not odd or long. What was it that shifted so much that he couldn’t sleep at night? That he couldn’t button his shirt shook his daily life right down to the ticks?

By the time the night comes, Inseong had finally figured everything out.

He had an appointment, no, a meeting of some sort. He was meeting someone, who that someone is to him, he couldn’t quite put a ring on it. The fact that he is shaking right down to the core before said meeting is enough of a sign for him to know that this person has a big impact on him, big enough to shift his life.

He got there in time, opting to leave his formal shoes inside his car and go barefoot instead.

His somewhat of an associate is late, but Inseong knew deep down that he would be and yet he came early anyways knowing that bit of information.

He sat on one of the bean bags they had outside, sinking himself deeper into his seat, hoping to sink so deep that he doesn’t have to go through this meeting.

Why did Inseong said yes to meeting him? Deep inside he knew the answer to that question, but was too sacred to admit it.

Admitting the reason was like giving in to his vulnerability, to his desire and lust. He couldn’t help but notice that nagging feeling inside him nudging him to admit it.

But he wouldn’t or he simply couldn’t.

5 minutes, then 10 minutes, 15 minutes passed but he isn’t here yet.

Maybe he couldn’t come yet again, maybe that’s a sign that Inseong should forget that this day ever existed and go home, but as he rose up to walk away, his thoughts were sorely mistaken.

At that very moment he came, walking in his usual attire, his shirt was unbuttoned enough that Inseong could see the tattoo on his chest that he exposed. Inseong looked away, couldn’t bare the sight of both him and the tattoo on his chest that brought him a wave of memories.

They both sat down in silence until the waiter came by to ask their orders.

“one Americano and one green tea latte please” he said to the waiter.

He knew Inseong hasn’t ordered yet, Inseong hated ordering on his own.

“you remembered my orders” Inseong said softly after a while, sipping on his latte that had just arrived.

“you ordered it so often that it was impossible for me to forget it, nor can I forget about you” he said, replying to Inseongs remark.

Inseong smiled, somewhat happy yet exhausted but mad at the same time, he was confused of his own feelings. He decided to stay in quiet contemplation to decide the words he is about to let out next because he doesn’t want to make the other confused just like how he made him confused.

“if you had such a good memory then you couldn’t have forgotten about a simple recital that I always mention Dawon” 

now it’s Dawon’s time to stay quiet, sitting there sipping slowly on his drink. Dawon was the opposite of Inseong, he was edgy, adventurous, brave, and wild. While Inseong was just a simple city guy, his daily life consists of eating and violin rehearsals. That was until he had an interview in front of his listeners and one of them happened to be Dawon who came wearing a shirt showcasing his arm tattoos and a mere skinny black jeans. 

He caught Inseong’s eyes because he stood out, he didn’t only stand out because of his looks but because of his bravery to ask the mysterious violinist for his time.

Time that they have spent together with much joy. The time that made Inseong felt loved and brand new, not just some boring violinist. Dawon made him happy.

Dawon changed his daily life, his routines, his feelings and it all has changed again now that he left.

“look at the stars, it’s a clear sky tonight, they are shining above us as we speak, look, there are constellations over there” Inseong said, he couldn’t help his fascination for the sky, he just blurted it uder his conscience. 

He could see Dawon smiling from the corner of his eyes, he has always liked it when Inseong talk science.

A classical musician and a fan of science, how typical. Dawon didn’t think that though, for him Inseong was bright, simple kind, and sweet. All the things that he isn’t. He has never met a guy like Inseong, but for Inseong that’s just a sign that Dawon’s friends are a lot more interesting than him.

“the sky is indeed beautiful, just like you” Dawon replied, staring straight to Inseong even when Inseong was still staring at the night sky.

Dawon knew that Inseong doesn’t like problems and all its complications nor does he like confrontations, he doesn’t like pressure or stress, Inseong was his escape but Inseong wanted to be his reality. 

The words that Inseong was about to say though, contradicts with all of Dawon’s knowledge of him.

“so why? Why didn’t you come to that recital? Holy hell I would’ve understood if you didn’t come if you could just give me an explanation or reason. But no, you didn’t, I couldn’t even reach you, you don’t answer my texts or my calls. Instead I had to know that you were doing fine through a friend that posted a picture with you somewhere I don’t know” Inseong said  
before Dawon could say something, Inseong cut him off,

“tell me what did I do wrong? We were doing fine” he ended it at that, letting out a long sigh as if he had let out all his worries.

Dawon knew that their mutual friend posted their picture, he didn’t give much care when it happened. Sometimes stuff like this would get Inseong jealous and Dawon teases him for it which usually ends up with one of them staying over at the other’s house.

Now it wasn’t jealousy, it was disappointment latched in his voice, mixed with exhaustion. It only dug Dawon’s pit of regret deeper.

“you came to me in the middle of the night for me to patch up your fighting wounds, and I waited for you to fall asleep so that I know that you are safe, I kissed you to ease the pain away, you know I would do everything for you and yet you don’t think I deserve an explanation?” Inseong said again, couldn’t bare the silence that was eating him alive, carving for anything to ease the pain in his heart.

“do you know how many nights I’ve waited for you to come home?” Inseong asked softly this time, really ending his rambles, tired of talking and getting no replies.

Dawon knew that Inseong was both loyal and caring but until tonight he never knew how loyal he was to him, and now that he has, Dawon regretted that their last kiss wasn’t longer, their last hug wsnt tighter because for Dawon it might the last time he could express his love for Inseong.

Dawon took a deep breath and said, “I was at a race that night, nice pay 200 dollars, free booze and all, I was just going to race, get the money and buy you something nice for your recital but it all went wrong”

Dawon turned to look at Inseong who was sitting still, quietly gazing at the night sky, but Dawon knew that he was listening.

Dawon sinks his feet deeper into the warm sand, tilting his head back to enjoy the glimmering stars, sinking deeper into his seat and continues.

“the cops came and I was driving away but I guess I wasn’t fast enough and they kept me locked up for a couple days, by the time I got out I know that I don’t deserve you, and you shouldn’t be with someone like me, bad influence left and right.” Dawon left it at that, waiting for Inseong’s response.

Whilst the other was just sitting, his hands dangling from the side and Dawon had the urge to hold it and kiss it and say how sorry he is but he couldn’t even see Inseong’s face without guilt.

“who are you to make that decision for me?” Inseong finally replied, now gazing into Dawon’s eyes.

“I picked you of all people, my heart is latched onto yours, my mind is always thinking of you, my hands are always holding yours but if you decided to let it go then that’s your choice, a choice you are responsible for, whatever the outcome is, you should’ve known” inseong said again, handing a 50 dollar bill and put it on the table, standing up , his feet are getting heaver and heavier to lift with every step that he took. He was walking away only to be held back by Dawon.

“the reason I asked to see you tonight is because I’m miserable without you, without you I’m not myself, I’m sorry, I don’t care if it takes a hundred ‘sorry’s but I want you, no, I love you” Dawon said, grabbing Inseong’s hands, stopping him from taking another step.

Inseong kept his head low, it took a while for Dawon to realize that he is crying, his hands are getting weaker and midst his tears he managed to say, “I’m not here to save you Dawon”

Dawon didn’t know how to stop them, the tears that are flowing down Inseong’s eyes, tearing his own heart as every tear flow out.

He made Inseong cry.

He made his cry.

Dawon’s heart was ripping itself inside out, he was weak in the knees, feeling that he has let Inseong down too much, failed to become his home.

Dawon carefully put his hands on Inseong’s cheek, slowly connecting their forehead together and wiping the tears away.

“I’m ready to change, for you. You aren’t here to save me, you are the reason I want to save myself. If you would give the chance to let me into your heart, I’ll try to be your home once more, just like how you are to me” Dawon said, as he calms Inseong down with the warmth of his hands.

Inseong leaned into his hands, giving into the warmth of Dawon’s hand. Their touch seems to brought him a rush of memories, memories he had prayed to forget, the feeling he had prayed to ignore.

Dawon’s heart almost believed that the outcome would be bright, that he could once more hold Inseong in his arms, taste the leftover candy in his mouth, and wake up beside him every morning.

Inseong too had imagined such result before their somewhat of an incident. To cook with Dawon's arms around his waist, making out whilst the coffee pot was boiling, smothered in paint by the time they finish painting the walls of their future home.

The simple things.

But the matter isn't simple, both for Inseong and Dawon.

Inseong stood of straight, detaching the warmth of Dawon’s hands from his face.

“I love you, that much I know, the time spent without you is a time wasted” Inseong said.

Dawon was beyond relieved, he thought the longing beneath the night sky has finally came to an end, for him to see the bright tomorrow hand in hand with Inseong, just like how it should be.

“but im scared, scared of you, scared of getting hurt”

These sentences tear off the band aid on Dawon’s heart, letting them bleed, keeping him drowning in his own mistakes.

For Dawon it feels like he was getting back to square one, the walls he had broken, the band aid he had placed, all gone, turned to dust by a mistake of his own making.  
Before those walls could be start to build itself again, Dawon came at it with his own ammunition.

“give me one more chance to make it right, to bring us back, to finally become the man you need me to be” Dawon said, holding on to Inseong’s had so tight so he couldn’t leave him  
He could feel that Inseong was aching to leave, but he wouldn’t let him, he has gone this far, he isn’t going to let Inseong go anymore.

“I don’t need you to be the man I need you to be, you were already perfect for me” Inseong said, finally stop trying to break free from Dawon’s grasp.

“one more baby, that is all I need” Dawon said, connecting their forehead once more.

Inseong was contemplating, he was confused though deep inside he knew that there’s only one answer.

Inseong kissed him, tasting the blood on dawon’s mouth, the taste that he missed so much, Dawon was holding inseong in his arms like a fragile china, not wanting to be apart from him anymore.

“that’s your answer” Inseong said.

Dawon smiled, not knowing how to express the immense happiness inside him, he held Inseong in his arms and looked at the night sky.

“the stars are shining brighter than usual tonight because they are showing me the way back home, back home to you. Baby all the stars are shining for you” Dawon said, thanking Inseong with the only way he knows how; giving him the love that he needs.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first sf9 story, sincere apologies if there are any mistake or inadequacy in this story. much love and gratitude to the readers and to the co-owner of this acc, i will forever be in your debt!


End file.
